Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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