Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
