So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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