I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
