Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
