Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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