Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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