why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
