Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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