We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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