Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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