Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
