Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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