we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
