You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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