Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
