i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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