Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize