i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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