Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
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Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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