I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
