youre lurking in front of me
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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