This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
