Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
