return my video game
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
