dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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