What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
They took my balls.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize