he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
