six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How external is "for external use only"?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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