wakey wakey hands off snakey
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
