It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
