it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
