do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
