There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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