So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
