he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize