We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
