dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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