So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
