We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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