D3 body, D1 cock
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize