We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I supernannyed him into submission
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
