i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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