I think I died a long time ago.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
