I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
