You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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