I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
