Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize