First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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