I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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