I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
