I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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