Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
