I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
