We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
