Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
