im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
