if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
