bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
