dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
