It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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