Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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