My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
